In this moment, I am safe
After years of trying to move back home, I finally found my dream home near the ocean in my hometown! Finally! I attained the thing I was admittedly pissed off at the Universe about not ‘delivering’ to me (see my post I Threw a Rock at God). Shortly after I moved, I was told in meditation that this particular home in this particular location was “bespoke” (i.e., custom-designed for me). And truly, it has so many things that were on my wish list. Perhaps that’s why it took a while. It is peaceful and lovely, with lots of natural light. And in the summer, you can actually smell a salty breeze through the open windows. But, wherever you go, there you are. You take you with you. And all your worries, fears and unhealed bits and pieces. I knew this going in. And after the first month or so, sure enough, I have experienced many challenges - emotional, physical, financial. Some things were so consistently falling apart, it was almost laughable.
This morning, in ‘medipraytion’ (my word for a meditation + prayer combo), I saw some deer slowly moving through the snow-covered woods outside my window. I felt a kinship with them. They are most often on high alert. Constantly scanning their environment for threat. I recognized (again), that so much of my time is spent unconsciously in medium-to-high alert. It is exhausting.
If we were not given the gift of consistently feeling safe as kids, it can be inordinately more challenging to feel safe as adults. Even when no true threat is imminent, we can slip into a high alert default setting. It takes awareness to transcend that default setting. I told the deer, “in this moment, you are safe.” (And I followed it up with, “you are welcome to come in my yard and even eat the plants and shrubs, but please stop pooping here!”💩). And then I told myself, “In this moment, I am safe. All is well.” I’ve used this affirmation before. It is calming and grounding.
It occurs to me that even if we don’t spend most of our time feeling safe, all is not lost. Because if we can cultivate enough of these little moments of feeling safe, we can string them together - like individual pearls on our life string. And when we re-orient our awareness to the big picture, we may discover the surprising fact that we’ve created this beautiful, luminous life necklace of peacefulness and strength.🦪
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